New Conservativism

When Highflyer and I got married, he took on my surname. This is still rather unusual in Austria, where the norm is for women to either take on their husband's name or to use both hers and his, hyphenated, while the man typically just keeps his name. Elder couples in particular sometimes decide to keep their individual names ("Italian style") when they get married and this is what I had assumed we would do as well as I never intended to give up my maiden name and the double-barrelled version would not have sounded great. My better half, however, decided to go through the hassle of changing all his documents (and in his case, this involved a lot more documents that had to be changed immediately after the wedding, like his pilot's licence, for example) and I really appreciated this gesture, as did my parents. It also kind of placated my Mum, who was upset that we didn't have a church wedding.

Recently, I found out that two ex-colleagues in their 30s are getting married and when asked what they would be called afterwards one said that she would take on her husband's name even though she thought hers sounded better and the other said she would use both. I didn't comment on that, but both asked me "what did you end up doing?" and when I told them that I kept mine and that Highflyer changed his, they both said they had actually not thought of or ever discussed this version, with one of them adding "well, I might have given in too easily, that would have been great, actually." I had a similar discussion with a colleague who got married a month after me when I congratulated her on her marriage and remarked that it was a funny coincidence that her new surname was so similar to her old one and thus easy to remember for people at work. She returned the congratulations and asked me what she should call me now. When I told her it was even easier because I had kept my surname, she added "Oh, but we wanted to have the same name, so I took on his." When I replied "well, so did we, my husband took my name" she also said that this idea had not even occurred to her.

I was surprised that they all found this concept so "wild" and even though they are almost 20 years younger than me, these young women seemed much more conservative and traditional in their views. Upbringing? A millennial thing? Interesting, in any case.

The Best Things in Life...

...really are free. Case in point, my excitement over the herbs that made a voluntary comeback after winter. I'm not talking about the lemon balm that grows like weed and which I never planted in the first place and I do know that rocket/rucola is very resilient and pretty much grows everywhere, all year round, so this was not the big deal, but coriander!?! If you've ever tried to keep it alive in a pot on your kitchen window or in the garden you know what I'm talking about. It's a capricious DIVA and drama queen that tends to get offended and suicidal if you as much as give it a side glance. I bought mine discounted last summer (because it looked pretty wilted) at a cheap supermarket as I needed it for a recipe and then planted the rest in the garden. Somehow it has miraculously multiplied and come back stronger than it was in the first place. So, small step for man, big step for this amateur gardener's ego! 

 

Relief

Last week I got the grade for my thesis, which was the equivalent of an "A" of the British/American score. Pleasant enough (in particular for the minimal effort I had invested, ahem), but I really had not been biting my nails with anxiety beforehand. What was a great relief, however, was good news after the final of a series of medical tests. I had been pretty concerned for a  month or so and just felt a great sense of relief and gratitude that I can now fully enjoy the new chapter that is beginning in less than a month: all done with my MBA with 3-day weekends every week with time to explore, travel, indulge in my favourite pastimes and so much more. Life is sweet and I'm here for it!

Best Before

 When I was young(ish) and foolish, I was very invested in a "project" to convince somebody that I was indeed the One for him. Well, in fact he repeatedly told me that I was no less than the love of his life, but still refused to leave his long-term partner that he had a long-distance relationship with at the time, arguing that I(!) would definitely leave him sooner rather than later and he would regret his decision, so he decided to stay put where he was, causing me quite a bit of frustration and exasperation. 

Well, in retrospect I should of course have said "good riddance" and "next!" the first time I was exposed to this theory of his and not try to argue and pitch my virtues, but somehow it was a challenge and I wouldn't give up easily, Did I mention that I was foolish? What infuriated me most was the fact that he had what he thought was a logical explanation why I (the younger one in this "situationship") would definitely leave him soon: he argued that it was a widely known "fact" that the initial rose-tinted phase of infatuation did not last longer than one year maximum and after that, in cold daylight so to speak, people fell out of love as would I, no doubt.

Every time I catch myself looking at Highflyer now, feeling a rush of both gratitude and giddy love that has not cooled down much, really, since when we first met, I am reminded that in our 5th year we have waaay outlived that silly alleged expiration date and I have to say it amuses me quite a bit. Plus, I do like to win arguments, even if we still don't know if indeed I would have fallen out of love with that other person regardless of his theory...

Itching

Last Saturday as the weather was mild, I got a little carried away and bought herbs, lettuce, 6 different varieties of tomatoes and red pepper that I planted in the garden the following day. Well, as so often my impatience paired with optimism laughed me in my face 3 days later morning frost turned them into green ice-sculptures and less than half of what you can see in the photo survived. I was ready to do it all over again this past weekend, but then exercised restraint and told myself to wait until after Easter in order to prevent another unceremonious abortion of my overzealous gardening ambitions. Has this happened before, possibly last year? Yes. Will it happen again? Very likely.

And Just Like That...

 

...I wrote almost 20.000 words and submitted my master thesis 10 days before the deadline. Whoop, whoop. Interestingly, it didn't really feel like a very taxing project at all and I have to say I enjoyed the process. Unlike my first thesis, back in the 1990s, little AI-helpers (hello, automatic transcription of audio files!) made life SO much easier and not having to physically go to your academic supervisor's office during their office hours but write them an informal e-mail and receive feedback within 24 hours also helped immensely and made the whole experience so much less frustrating and faster. Now I only have to tick off my final presentation/defensio if our chaotic contact at our alma mater ever communicates the time slots and then I'll be able to say I "collected" another academic title in my 50s, LOL. 

Change

Last week I submitted my request form to switch to a 4-day work week starting with May. This means that I will have Fridays off and be able to enjoy 3-day weekends EVERY week. Whoop, whoop. I am really excited and it did not take me long to make up my mind when my company offered this to all its employees about a month ago. The deals is that you have to commit to working either 32 or 36 (which I took) hours/week on 4 days for at least two years if you want to get a onetime "reward" payment. The latter (even though rather generous) was not my main motivation, but rather I had found this model attractive for quite some time. Postponing things for when you're retired really is not the wisest choice f because you never know if you'll get to experience old age healthy and mentally sound as well as financially independent. I'd rather enjoy life as much as I can in the present before bookmarking it for the future. So here's to change and long weekends!